For my first post, I bring you ‘Chocolate Bacon’.
I decided to start off slowly and picked the combination of two foods I love, in the hope they will produce some kind of beautiful meaty/chocolatey offspring (but I doubt it.)
If you decide to attempt this batshit crazy recipe yourself, you will need:
- Smoked bacon
- Dark chocolate
- A strong stomach
It’s a fairly simple concept, starting with the cooking the bacon. I’m watching my weight (ahem…) so I chose to cook mine on the ever popular George Foreman grill. This technique can otherwise be emulated on a normal grill that didn’t cost an unnecessary £40 and won’t take a week to clean.
“Shit, shit, it’s cooking really fast because I turned the George on too early and I forgot to microwave the chocolate… It’s cool, I’m on it.” – Me, stressing out.
Okayyy, the chocolate got a little bit burnt because I forgot about that too… but it’s fine, I just took a strategic photograph that looks like I didn’t burn it. Cool.
The chocolate will be hotter than a thousand suns, so use OVEN GLOVES. Seriously.
And then stir it all uuuuuup.
Here comes the fun part. Normally, I would cremate my bacon to within an inch of its pink little life, because CRISPY BACON IS THE BEST. However, in this instance, I was coaxed, nay, convinced, to grill it to an appropriate point and then stop because “It’s part of the recipe!”
Spreading the melted chocolate onto bacon feels a little bit like sacrilege, that tasty smokey goodness going to waste, but I’m hoping that it will be (in the words of Homer Simpson) ‘sacri-delicious’.
It tastes… bitter and salty. It’s kind of terrible and amazing at the same time. My brain can’t quite process the two flavours together so it separates them. It’s weird. I think I kind of like it.
It was sort of tasty in a ‘I definitely shouldn’t mention this to anyone’ kind of way.
The conclusion? Don’t try it; it will fill you with a sense of confusion and regret.